Bonnie Gillespie Social Profile

Bonnie Gillespie

Los Angeles
I’ve spent 20 years empowering creatives to bring more joy to the showbiz journey. FREE training for #actors all month! ‍ Link in bio, y’all!

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Actors, Casting, Writing
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Instagram Post
Let’s talk about this. For 6.5 years, I’ve avoided every camera whipped out in pole class like it’s the most important part of my workout. Even after I lost 60 pounds and built muscle like a superhero, only a staged group photo or strategic mirror shot made it through the evasive action. This is the result of decades of heaping hate on my own body for never being perfect. No amount of eating disorders, self-abuse, or compulsive exercise could fix this. Cut to: Thursday at @thepolegarage just weeks back in class after months of bedrest and most of 2018 spent in a massive #mindbody healing journey. I’ve gone deep within to explore the early messages about my worth (starting with “you were an accident and had abortion been legal back then, you’d never have been born”) and what’s important (having been told “no man will have you if you’re fat”) and how none of that matters (because “you can’t trust anyone and will end up alone anyway”). I’ve discovered that loving myself was not only hard for me for the same reason self-love is challenging for everyone but because when I did dare to publicly accept myself even the tiniest bit, I was told I was “too big for my britches” and asked, “Who do you think you are?!?” Who indeed. 🧘🏽‍♀️💫🦋 I’ve entered into a new phase of my life—one in which I not only like myself, but freakin’ LOVE myself. I’m on board with what an amazing bunch of brilliant others somehow saw despite my certainty they were wrong (or setting me up for rejection to come): I am fucking spectacular, I am enough, and I am just getting started. It’s about to get more blissful than ever imagined and I’m not gonna hide any of it, no matter how uncomfortable others are when I refuse to play small. 💪🏽💥💃🏽 If I’m able to do this after decades of self-hate can you imagine what a flood of self-love is capable of? Let’s find out! I’m so glad mama @drearoers shouted, “Hold it! Let me get my phone!” while Yvonne hit the lights. Before, I would’ve insisted NO!!!! or dropped out of the trick or deleted the photo. F that. This is glorious. I am phenomenal. And this is only the beginning. ❤️💃🏽💫 Who’s with me? #ExpansiveCapacity
452 | September 15, 2018
Instagram Post
I remember Googling a lot. 👩🏽‍💻 It was always something like HOW TO DRINK IN MODERATION. A whole lot of scrolling, reading, searching... hoping someone would tell me, "Here's how to keep drinking and somehow have a better life than you do today." But I kept landing on stories of people choosing #sobriety, putting in the work of self-love that can't exist when you need an escape from how you feel about yourself. In reading them, I was building up the readiness to risk having to accept not liking myself very much. Here's what I know about not just being able to look at yourself in the mirror and have no regrets for the night before but facing that mirror with enthusiasm and joy for the woman you've allowed yourself to become: You've gotta be ready for it. To get ready, I was going to have to put in the work to live a life I had no interest in escaping to ensure that something as seductive as an always-ready, liquid escape hatch like vodka couldn't tempt me. I had to TRUST that I was going to love myself *for* learning who I am at my core. 🧘🏽‍♀️ I'm celebrating 888 days sober because I love my numbers. I love my 8s—those powerful infinity symbols stood up on one end. My sober birthday is an 8 numerologically. My actual birthday is an 8 numerologically. Being fully present, feeling all the feelings, and learning you are filled with SO much more magic than you ever may have suspected... it churns up some very real feelings about how cruel you were to prevent yourself from getting to know THIS #sober version of yourself for so long. I'm glad that this time three years ago, I was fantasy Googling about how to negotiate moderation. I was exposing myself to stories online that were warming me up for something—my own sobriety—to not feel so vastly different from my life at that moment. What are you doing to prepare your life to fully receive a change you'd like to see yourself make? You'll know when your #enoughess is more powerful than your inertia for anything that keeps you small. I can't wait to celebrate your 888th day of whatever it is that brings you a sense of peace like never before. Thank you for joining me in celebrating that investment in my life, today.
454 | March 23, 2019
Instagram Post
Keith and I became engaged on December 15, 2001. We called off the big wedding we had scheduled for October 12, 2002 due to all sorts of reasons having nothing to do with us and everything to do with expectations, family obligations, and other people’s opinions about how our lives should look. Choosing instead to focus on how we FEEL, we knew there would be a day we’d wake up, look at each other, and say, “Today?” “Yeah!” and that would be the day we got married. . On June 16, 2005, Keith and I stood between two trees on the bluffs overlooking the California Incline in Santa Monica. Random spot... chosen due to its proximity to our home. We had told a dozen friends to come meet us at sunset somewhere a few blocks from where we live. We weren’t more specific than that because this private ceremony wasn’t meant to fulfill anyone’s expectations for what our relationship should be. . Each of our friends — couples in showbiz, role models who showed us that it IS possible to partner up in this industry and thrive in love and business simultaneously — brought a flower that represented something about OUR relationships with one another. Keith’s beautiful son was our best man. . The ceremony was over in seven minutes. Our vows were simple: 1. Always trust we have one another’s best interest at heart. Because that way, even when we’re fighting, we know it’s because we want the best versions of ourselves to endure. We’ll always fight FOR something, never to tear anything down. 2. Always go for the funny. Because OMG, if I leave an opening, you’ve GOTTA take the shot! If we’re not laughing, it’s over! . 13 years today. 17 years together. Most of it, 20 hours a day in the same space, building our empire and leaning into our best selves, always surrounding ourselves with joy and laughter. . Continued in comments below and at my blog (link in bio).
350 | June 16, 2018
Instagram Post
Healing is personal. Whether it’s healing from a physical wound, an emotional trauma, a long-held belief that isn’t serving you, or anything else, it’s PERSONAL. 🧘🏽‍♀️💫🦋 Last week, I underwent hypnosis for a few hours as a part of RTT (rapid transformation therapy). I spent three weeks prior doing audio training to help make me more suggestible. If you know me, you’ve seen my very active, sharp, and busy mind at work. So there was much resistance to all of this for me! But after 15 months of unrelenting, undiagnosable pain, I was ready to explore places in my brain that were holding onto pain as a means of keeping me safe as I explore this new space in my business, my sobriety, my success in life. 💵🏆💰 We went in. We went deep. And I continue to listen to customized audio to “cure” the work we did in the session. LOVE that word being used this way! ❤️💫🕊 As I share my elation over having an ENTIRELY new relationship with physical pain, of course, there are raised eyebrows out there. Crossed arms. Full-on eyerolls too! Guess what: NONE of that has anything to do with me or my healing or my journey. If I had gone under the knife? Taken massive drugs? Cool. But somehow visiting the parts of my brain that aren’t within reach on the daily to dislodge something that got stuck there? Poppycock. 🤦🏽‍♀️ Welp, I’ll ask you to try an experiment: imagine pulling a lemon off the tree, cutting it in half, and then biting into it. Really imagine it. Feel it. Did you salivate? A lot? Yup, because our brains create physical responses to thoughts and feelings we encounter throughout the day. All day. Every day. And at some point, this can become chronic pain. Food intolerances. Emotional imbalances. WHY NOT explore the power of the mind to soothe—or even heal—our bodies? 💗 My point in sharing this is, yes, to celebrate this new chapter in my deep mind-body healing journey, but also to remind you that your healing can take ANY shape it needs to (it will guide you toward what you’re meant to experience) and others’ opinions DO NOT invalidate your results. 🦋 I am so grateful to how wonderful I’ve felt for a week now—I had no idea how consuming the pain had become. 💥
405 | March 20, 2019
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